Thursday, November 5, 2009

But, this character is about 15 years younger than Denzel! WHAT WILL WE DO?!!?

This is Part 1 of 2 about the movie Law Abiding Citizen. You might think that this does not seem like the type of movie that deserves a two-part piece, especially when you consider that it isn’t particularly good. But I don’t necessarily write about good movies, I write about movies that get me thinking about something. And Law Abiding Citizen got me thinking about a couple of things, one of which is this: Jamie Foxx is terrible.

Honestly, outside of maybe Leonardo DiCaprio, no actor is more overrated than this guy. Let’s get a couple of nice things out of the way first, though:
1) I admit he does a killer Ray Charles impression. So, you know, good work watching video and imitating him, Jamie.
2) He doesn’t hurt Collateral too much.
3) He is good in Any Given Sunday… but that’s because he is always standing next to either a scenery chewing Al Pacino or Dennis fucking Quaid.
Well, now that we’ve got the compliments out of the way, I can tell you how I really feel. Foxx always has the same look on his face in a dramatic scene. ALWAYS. You know the one I’m talking about, the “Jamie Foxx intense face.” He just scrunches up his face as tightly as he can and tries to look tough. Back when Freddie Prinze Jr. was a thing, I remember people always bitching about his lack of a changing facial expression. I’m not trying to say Freddie Prinze Jr. is underrated (because he sucks), but nobody ever tried to claim that his performance in She’s All That was transcendent.

Foxx also does a lot of those little actor-y things that drive me insane. I have a couple little rules that help in telling the difference between a decent actor and an over-actor: watch how they eat, and watch how they hold a phone. If you don’t see anything that sticks out to you as a “nobody would do that” type of thing, then this person probably isn’t a terrible over-actor. However, if you see an actor rub their nose while chewing loudly or hold a phone to their ear across their body, then they are an over-actor. Jamie Foxx is a repeat offender on each count.

Not to get all lame and semi-serious on you here, but I think the worst part about Jamie Foxx is that he symbolizes how racist Hollywood is. It seems that for a black actor to be able to get any decent lead roles, they have to be good looking and get extremely lucky in mixing a good performance with a movie that is popular. Jamie Foxx had that with Ray, and since then it seems like he has been the go-to guy for any black lead role who needs to be a decade younger than Denzel Washington can play (and that Will Smith is too nice for). Never mind that Derek Luke and Larenz Tate are better actors than all of them, until another under 40 black actor lands that lucky role, we’re stuck with Jamie Foxx in movies like this one. And Law Abiding Citizen features just about everything that makes Jamie Foxx terrible: over-the-top eating, over-the-top cell phone holding, over-the-top intense face, over-the-top and constant muscle flexing, over-the-top trying to look cool, etc. Please, Derek and Larenz, find that lucky role. You are the ones who can stop the intense-faced monster that is Jamie Foxx.

Oh, and by the way, Jamie Foxx is also the creator of "From Gs to Gents." So... yeah.


  1. 1 - I've seen Wayne Brady do the same portrayal of Ray Charles on Whose Line Is It Anyway in almost every episode.

    2 - I have never seen anyone rub their nose while chewing... what the fuck? does that actually happen?

    3 - maybe YOU are holding your cell phone wrong. You know I'm right. I AM THINKING CLEARLY

    4 - don't hate on Gs to Gents. That show is amazing.

  2. 1. I hate people that get awarded for impressions that sketch comedians can normally do just as well/better. You are probably aware of this.

    2. It happens in whatever world Jamie Foxx comes from. Maybe his food is so delicious that his nose gets itchy.

    3. HAHAHAHAHA. Amazing.

    4. No comment.